About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Still dying that you shit outside
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
