drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Randomize