I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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