I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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