Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
