I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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