When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
