Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
