so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize