I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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