Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I will be naked everywhere
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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