you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
