Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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