New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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