well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
