Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
