The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize