just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
