all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
