I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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