The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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