i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
