i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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