Apparently you make a good broom.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
