So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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