Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
