it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
