I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
