my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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