I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize