it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
