So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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