How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize