my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
