JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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