Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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