I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize