When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
