No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
