is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize