why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
