We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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