there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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