Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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