Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i dont even know how to be here
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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