it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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