but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
