i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize