Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
