So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
