i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The uberlube is also flammable
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
