if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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