I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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