i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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