Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
