Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
