You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
