he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Everything about him screamed your future.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
