I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
