what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
