There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize