Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
