WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
being pregnant is like rehab
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize