hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
