We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
