You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
