sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
