i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
