I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
