His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize